sauvez-moi.

I have six SACs left for the semester, and an exam. It’s alright, because it’s two per week and one exam after that. But WAHHHH

1. Tomorrow: Chemistry
2. Friday: French writing SAC
3. Wednesday next week: Specialist maths I’M GOING TO FUCKING FAIL IT SDVAHSJD
4. Friday next week: Methods SAC on everything that hasn’t been assessed yet ==
5. Monday and Tuesday the following week: English text response to On The Waterfront
6. The same Tuesday: French oral AND I CAN’T EVEN SPEAK FRENCH (Nah it’s okay. I can just make up shit GO WIT DA FLOW)

Today I went to school (because we don’t have school on Wednesday) and studied for Chem with Zhen but I didn’t know shit and I just lost interest and procrastinated… So I decided to do Methods. Completed one exercise, so I was ahead one exercise. Then I gave up on that and tried to do spesh but I only got through 3 or 4 questions because I am utterly hopeless at life and gave up.

BAM! It was almost 5pm. Zhen, our friend Mahad were probably the last people in the school besides the cleaners! You know you have no life when the teachers leave before you….

Anyway, trammed it to Monash University Parkville for a Chemistry lecture and it was about our SAC tomorrow! But we all fell asleep. I wonder how I’m going to survive in Uni…….

 Il faut que je quitte. Au revoir mes amis!

In spesh class, I tell my friend, Zhi, that our friend - who was sitting next to him - and I are getting married and he has to come to our wedding. He agreed.

The other day, I was putting down some nearby chairs and Zhi told me to put down the rest of the chairs. My friend (who I said I was going to get married to) was like “WUH. You don’t ask her to do that. You’re like one of those guys who tells a woman to get back in the kitchen!!!!!” and went and put the chairs down for me. I was like “NAWWW SEE WHAT A GOOD HUSBAND HE IS.”

Later on, Zhi told me “stop talking” when I was trying to talk to him and I heard “hey, don’t talk to my wife that way.”

AW HEO YEEH HE APPROVES. WE ARE TOTES GETTING MARRIED ONE DAY.

• Ghost Adventures season 6 finished
• How I Met Your Mother season what ever finished
• Community probably finished forever
• SUPERNATURAL SEASON 7 FINISHED

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MY LIFE AFTER I FINISH WATCHING ALL OF GAME OF THRONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok sorry I’ll go study for my exams now.

Kate Upton is beautiful, no doubt. I found out about her when there were some stuff going on about her being rejected from Victoria’s Secret for being too fat. I decided to search up her tags on Tumblr after seeing a nice photo of her.

Urgh. Not professional. Yes, she’s an underwear model, but that’s it. So many photos of her are just her sticking out her boobs and you can tell it’s all about them. Just like those Asian import models. I don’t favor that sort of stuff. Yes VS is all about elaborate lingerie, therefore needing a nice body to showcase it. But what I like about VS is that there is a balance between costumes and models. But for me, I find the costumes so eye capturing that I hardly notice the body. And even the models themselves are professional. They all model for designer brands, fashion magazines and runways - not men’s magazines (well, I haven’t heard of any).

Anyways, the main reason she got rejected was because she is “too fat”. I agree, but don’t. VS models are quite thin, and Kate Upton is really curvy (plus I wouldn’t want her to be one anyways. But she’s curvy, and I like that). Though I’m a little disappointed in VS recently because they’re only recruiting blondes or models who are WAY TOO THIN (eg Karlie Kloss). But I guess by saying what is wrong just makes the range of body types more narrow.

TYRA BANKS, OUT!!

There’s so much more you don’t know. You may think you’ve heard it all from me, but you haven’t. I keep it inside, all bottled up. And because it’s still inside me… It’s still inside me. It’s still with me, and it will be until I release it properly. But it looks like I never can. So be it. Let it stay inside of me. Let my resent stay hidden from the world. From you.

A while ago, my math methods teacher was handing back some sheets we handed in. She handed me my sheet, and then hesitated. I reassured her, saying “it’s ok, miss, I’m the right Asian”

She looked at me and started laughing and said “WHAT???”. She seemed really shocked. And for the past few weeks, she’s been telling me “I still can’t believe you said that. I’m so shocked!!!!”

Again, today she reminded me again. “I’m still so shocked you even said that, AiVi!”

I looked at her and started cracking up, then yelled back “WRONG ASIAN, MISS!!!!!!”

She just looked at me like ‘wtf’ and I said “My name is Lucy… Not AiVi.”

I am clearly the wrong Asian this time.

I discovered that you never really forget the pain. It stays with you even if you’ve gotten over it. When it’s raw, you’re constantly hurting. But after a while, you learn to stop thinking about it, and those memories are pushed to the back of your mind. If you scurry far enough into yourself, you will find it again and you will rediscover that part of you. That’s when you feel those heart-wrenching moments that reminds you that you’ve been damaged in some sort of way, and to always be careful so the next time you won’t be hurt like that again.

I told my French tutor that I LOVE Disney movies and its music. He then told me that I should YouTube the French versions of the songs. I thought “OMG, HOW COULD I FORGET? THERE WAS A FRENCH VERSION OF ‘I’LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU’ ON TUMBLR AHGAHDHAHCAJABAKDHLA”. But anyways, at French tutor I told him “le soir dernière, j’ai regardé sur YouTube des chansons de Disney en français!!!!” WE WERE BOTH SO EXCITED ok.

So I’ve been YouTubing all these songs and argh…. So sexy LOL

Anyways, I just completed 3 SACs in the last 2 days so I’m pretty happy and I shall reward myself with Tumblr and Disney. Or watch Anastasia even though it’s not even Disney. Ok bye, Anastasia time!

I told myself I would wake up at 7:15 to get ready for photoday. Well shit, I woke up at 7:45, which means I only had 15 minutes to get out of the house.

DISASTER. BAD HAIR. COULDN’T FIGURE OUT WHAT TO WEAR. THINGS WERE IN THE WASH. AWFUL HAIR. WAHH!

Anyways, we had first and second session off because of photos. We had to line up in height order, and I was near the end-ish. I was put in the front row (like every year), and as I was about to sit down in a random place (I didn’t know where I was going) I heard Zhen shout out “LUCY!!”

She was on the other side so I ran to her and sat next to her. SPENDING THE FINAL YEAR TOGETHER SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER. AGAIN!!! We cackled for a bit and waited for people to be seated. We took a couple of photos, when LATE COMERS STARTED TO COME. Everyone started groaning because we had to take another photo AND PEOPLE JUST KEPT COMING IN LATE. In the end, some people just missed out so we lined up for our individual ones.

Zhen and I cut in and when it was time for my photo, I smiled with my teeth. I discovered that every time I smile with my mouth closed, I look disgusting. I look less disgusting when I smile with teeth. But what happens after two shots with my teeth?

“Could you close your mouth? Thanks.”

DU MA. TELL ME TO CLOSE MY MOUTH!?!?!?!!?!?!?!??!?!? LOLOLOLOL nah the flash was reflecting against my braces so I couldn’t smile with my teeth ==

WAHHHHH

Today I went to the Royal Children’s Hospital because my mum made me book an appointment with a dermatologist. She was really worried about my mark on my arm because she was really baffled at why it takes up my whole elbow.

I told her it was small when I was little and it’s big now because skin expands as you grow but she insisted “NOOOO WE SHOULD GO GET IT CHECKED I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY IT’S SO BIG NOW.”

Why does she never listen to my logic? I don’t even care about it. I’m not self conscious about it, so I wasn’t worried about getting rid of it or not.

So anyways, the story goes that I had a little mark on my arm when I was a baby so the doctor gave me a cream and the cream was so strong that it burnt my skin. That’s why I had a (back then) little mark on my arm. But today when my dad explained to the dermatologist, he said I  had it when I was first born and that was it. No mention of a cream burning my skin. This was just a plain birthmark and that was it. My life has been a lie. 

Not that it made any difference to my logic.

The doctor asked if I had any more marks, so I showed her this big one on my back, a little one near my belly button and another one on my leg (I had to take off my pants ==). Then she called in another specialist and she explained that they are just birthmarks that mean no harm. I knew they were birthmarks as well. They must have thought I was a paranoid idiot for coming in the first place LOL. Laser surgery was an option, but that doesn’t work most of the time. Hell no am I getting laser surgery for something so minor!

But it put my mum at ease knowing that I am not diseased.