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There have been many times where I pushed people away after I felt like they were falling for me, or vice versa, it was like I had some kind of barrier or wall built around me. When things looked like they were getting serious I would just begin to ignore them and push myself as far away as possible, despite the fact that I may have honestly liked them. Now I had no idea why I did this, it was like some kinda of mechanism that I was unable to control and I hated myself for acting in such a way it but I just couldn’t stop myself. Then finally came along a guy who was special enough to be able to break down these barriers/walls and fortunate enough for me to actually let him in, but chose to hurt me. I wouldn’t say this was a stupid decision or something I regret but what I’m trying to say is that now these walls around me have grown stronger and higher than ever and I’m so afraid that I’ll never let anyone else into my life like I once did.
